Pretty Pretty Podcast

Getting Seductively Simple With Erika Lyremark

Episode Summary

Erika Lyremark of The Daily Whip shares her philosophy on minimalism, her journey on the elegant pursuit of less, exactly how she got Shark Tank's Barbara Corcoran to endorse her expertise and gives us the EXCLUSIVE on the new book she's working on (that's partially inspired by Kim Kardashian & Kanye West.

Episode Notes

Today Courtney Love Gavin is joined by the whip smart, minimalist fashionista (yes it's a thing!) and mastermind behind The Daily Whip, Erika Lyremark. Erika spent 9 years swinging around a stripper pole, went on to co-create a multi-million dollar commercial real-estate investment company, and in 2011 went full-time in her own business The Daily Whip where she helps BOLD women create personality-driven sales & marketing plans that sell, reliably and repeatedly.

Listen in as Courtney Love and Erika discuss minimalism modalities, Eastern vs Western philosophies, Erika's Idea Box, Erika's upcoming book and Erika's journey to making her life seductively simple.

To connect with Erika Lyremark click here

To connect with Courtney Love Gavin click here

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Episode Transcription

Courtney Love Gavin  0:12  

This is Pretty Pretty Podcast. I'm Courtney Love Gavin. Welcome to the prettiest podcast on the planet. Truth booth is the fifth time I'm recording this intro. It is podcast in the time of Corona I am in my apartment Chandler Bing is at daycare and I told myself that I can't go pick him up until I finish recording the podcast intros. So that way see my little Bing-A-Ling is my own reward. And since I've been here recording this each time we had an ambulance go by. We had my old school alarm clock that's analog go off because I'm recording this around 6pm and I wake up at 6am each day right now.

Courtney Love Gavin  0:54  

And yeah, so this time or do it live, no matter what happens. I'm going to finish recording this because I have one more to go and I am winning right now in the bad mom dog award where Chandler is usually the last dog left at daycare and they'll say, Hey, we have him in a quite waiting.

Courtney Love Gavin  1:14  

Btw, if anyone is living in LA and listening to this, check out West LA Dogs because they I feel like honestly calling them a daycare is almost like an undercut because when I look at other doggy daycares, nothing else compares. Number one. They love dogs of all breeds. I have a bully breed type dog, also known as a pitbull, and yes, he's amazing. And soo many daycares would not even like look at Chandler. You know, they're like, they didn't even know my dog.

Courtney Love Gavin  1:45  

They just judge them by the breed, which when I was working in corporate, even though I had a dog friendly company, I was in a high rise of a building in Beverly Hills. And so it was just not fair to him or for me to take him to work with me every day. So I was like, it takes a village We need to find someone so West LA Dogs is amazing, they have over 10,000 square feet outside they really care about your pets and basically just anything that you could ask for in a outsourcing your pet parenting. West LA Dogs is the way to go. And no, they do not sponsor this podcast.

Courtney Love Gavin  2:20  

This podcast is sponsored by me CLG because I am not a fan of interruptive advertising.

Courtney Love Gavin  2:27  

Okay, so today we are talking to Erika Lyremark. She's amazing. Can I just say that she's someone that I've never met anyone who cares as much as I do about the details, like we can just talk and talk and talk and go down about that. She is smart, whip smart, to be exact. She is the beauty and brains behind The Daily Whip, and I'm going to give you all of the googly goop in terms of what her official bio is and all of that, but just know Anyone that's on Pretty Pretty Podcast is legit.

Courtney Love Gavin  3:04  

One thing that I love about Erika is that she on her book her first book, Think Like A Stripper. She has a personal endorsement from Barbara Corcoran! Yes, the queen of NYC real estate and I asked her on this convoo that I'm letting y'all in on about how she got Barbara Corcoran to personally endorse her without even having met her. Yes, Erika Is that good!

Courtney Love Gavin  3:32  

Plus, Erika drops an exclusive worldwide premiere, Mike will made it about her new book. And the main topic that we talked about is minimalism. AKA the elegant pursuit of less and how this can apply not just to your surroundings, but really into every aspect of your life. Now before you go, okay CLG that sounds so la go get your tunic and your that you live in. I want to say check yourself out. you wreck yourself because when I think about minimalism, I think it's really about only having things when I say things, I mean, material, emotional ideas, like you just have stuff that lights you up in your life and you get rid of the clutter. You Cut the bullshit, you cut the noise, you make the complex, simple, and thus adaptively simple compelling. So grab a bevy, listen in and let's get pretty candid with Erika Lyremark.

Courtney Love Gavin  4:30  

Erika Lyremark. Did I say your name correctly?


Erika Lyremark  4:33  

Yes, ma'am.

Courtney Love Gavin  4:34  

Erika, one thing that I am very fascinated with in my personal and professional life is minimalism, and I was ecstatic to find out that you are a practicing minimalist. Also. Can you talk to me about that?

Erika Lyremark  4:48  

Yes. Is this a good time to plug my new book? plug plug.

Erika Lyremark  4:53  

I haven't started yet. Pretty Pretty Podcast.

Courtney Love Gavin  4:56  

Yeah, pretty, pretty plug podcast. That's how we're gonna call it today. We're going to talk about all kinds of plugs, guys.

Erika Lyremark  5:02  

Ear plugs, butt plugs. Yeah. plungers I used my plunger last week.

Courtney Love Gavin  5:07  

I think that a big misconception that a lot of people have when it comes to minimalism is that it means that you are living just with bare bones and white and neat. And yes, I think simplicity is part of it. But I would love I always love to hear how other people define minimalism and how you sort of bring that into your world.

Erika Lyremark  5:30  

Yeah, so when I was plugging my book on minimalism, I wasn't kidding. I'm actually going to be writing a book with Xandra Robinson-Burns from heroin training calm. I approached her about it like two weeks ago. She said yes. So at the rate that I go, it'll probably be a few years before it's out, but it's going to be a book about minimalism for minimalists.

Courtney Love Gavin  5:50  

I love that Tell me more.

Erika Lyremark  5:51  

We're not trying to change anybody. We just want minimalists to be more minimalist. So people are already on that journey. We want to support them and get them excited about minimalism because we both had such huge breakthroughs in our life from being minimalist so Xandra used to have a blog called Fashionably Light. And it was all about like we both love clothes.

Erika Lyremark  6:14  

We're both fashionistas. I have a clothing design degree. That's what I wanted to do for many, many years for like 15 years that was like the only thing that I thought about was being a clothing designer. And you know, we have these conversations around like love clothes so much, but when it comes down to our daily lives, so here's an example I used to have a calendar where I would write down what I was wearing and my goal was to not repeat the same outfit for an entire year. This was before Instagram or any of this was in like 1993 and that was my goal.

Erika Lyremark  6:49  

And so I did it so I had just insane amount of clothing plus I sewed and design clothes. So I was making my own clothes. I would go to vintage shops and I restyle clothes as very much Like vintage fashion, like kind of like golf meets punk meets vintage like 1960s and 70s clothing. So clothing was just a huge part of my life. And then in about 1995 not sure the exact year, but I was watching an episode of the now defunct Charlie Rose Show. And he had a guest on there. And unfortunately, I don't remember the guests name, but he was some sort of a CEO of a company. And he was talking about how in Western philosophy, the philosophy is that we are born a empty box, and we need to fill it to become more of who we are. And in Eastern philosophy, we are born a full box and we need to empty to become more of who we are. And at this particular time, I was also going through a breakup with a boyfriend, my first love. We've been together for five years, you know, I was a virgin when I met him, he was I thought we were going to get married, like he was my everything. And so I was really questioning so many things that I think Were to in my life.

Erika Lyremark  8:01  

And I looked around my apartment. It wasn't just the clothes. It's like I was shopping all the time. And there was stuff everywhere. Like if there was an empty space, it was filled, you know, with something. And so I looked around and I thought, oh my god, I have no idea who I am. And I need to check out this life emptying my box. And so I think I went to like Barnes and Noble and I bought a book called simplify your life, the author's Elaine St. James. And it was just a very simple book where each page was like a little tiny book and each page you would turn it and there'd be like a tip about simplifying your life. And it was a really like the beginning of I don't think of myself as being like an intellectual before I started reading this simple book about simplifying your life and this whole other thing that was going on in my life, just really questioning everything. And I was also wrapping up my degree in fashion design. It has been a very intense period of my life, and wasn't feeling called to work in fashion.

Erika Lyremark  9:01  

And I was just questioning everything. So I was getting more interested in philosophy. I was introduced to women's studies during this time, I think I want to become a lawyer because I do have kind of a lawyer, the personality if there is one, and I thought, that's what I want to do, and I want to become a women's rights lawyer. And I was also stripping at the time and because of this breakup with my boyfriend, I was really second guessing everything about men, and I was like, Oh, yeah, it's all their fault. And that's not even what feminism is. Right. But in my world, I was like, Yeah, I got a lot off, just about. So I was reading this book, and I started getting rid of things in my life clothing. And the more that I did it, it just felt like this purge. It felt awesome. And I loved it and I started to feel so free. And then I would ask my girlfriends, hey, you want me to come over and help you declutter? And then I'd go over their houses, and we would declutter and I would go back to Minnesota to see my family. I was living in Seattle at the time. I would go over to my friend's homes there and purge.

Erika Lyremark  10:03  

And I remember one night this girlfriend and I, we got rid of 25 giant long bags of clothes. And that was just a tiny dent in everything that she owned. So over the years, I would continue to go over to her home and help her and I loved doing this. And in a sense, it was kind of my first coaching business was helping people, you know, declutter, and everybody, you know, reported this incredible sense of freedom and lightness and just like they could take off this heavy burden. But what was happening is that even though I was still decluttering, I was still shopping right? And so be declutter, shop, declutter, shop, declutter, shop declutter shop and so when this vicious cycle, and so I was always committed to getting rid of things but then I would go out and I would buy, I would still continue to buy so I hadn't really addressed this shopping addiction that I had.


Erika Lyremark  10:53  

And when my husband and I moved, so we own 3300 square foot home in Minneapolis and then we moved out into Seattle in 2016. And we moved into a 740 square foot apartment. I mean, it's like very tiny. So when we moved initially we got rid of about 70% of our things. Then we came to Seattle, and we did have a storage unit and we got rid of another, like 10%. And then a year later, we moved to a bigger apartment where I am now. And we got rid of another 5%. And during this time, I can't remember what it was.


Erika Lyremark  11:27  

But I had this conversation with my stepmom about being a good steward of your money. And, you know, I did some self reflection, I asked myself, am I being a good steward of my money, and I started to think about it. And what I realized, for me, what it came down to is that I fully utilize everything I have, I always feel like I have enough and so that the problem before is that there was always this feeling of like I need more and more and more, because even though I was on this walking the minimalist journey there still was this feeling of not having enough. And always feeling like this lack of like, ooh, and I need this. Or I need this I need this.


Erika Lyremark  12:10  

So when I saw Kim and Kanye's new home a couple years ago, it was shocking to me how little they had, because I would say that at that time, my partner like my interior design style was more like modern, kind of like feminine and masculine modern, kind of like something you'd see like in in New York City apartment, right? So it wasn't like ridiculous minimalism, right. But I was on considerably less than what I did before. When I saw their home. At first, I was shocked because of how plain it was.

Erika Lyremark  12:45  

And then I couldn't stop looking at these images that I was seeing on the internet, and I just kept thinking about it. And then I was like, Oh my god, I think that's what I want. How am I going to explain this to my husband, because he already hates it when I get rid of everything, but he already thinks that we own too little and I think I don't know how am I going to do this and she went out of town is just last time he went out of town. And when he was gone, I took up all the paintings on the walls, they rolled up the living room rug that we had at the time. I didn't like it. And I put everything that I did not want into the front hallway.

Erika Lyremark  13:15  

And we like we have this apartment that we live in is really cool. Because like these two like giant hallways for like, it's a huge apartment where we live and these really wide hallways when you walk in. And he came home and I'm like, I know he's gonna be so grumpy about this. But I have to have this revolt because he doesn't understand how important this is to me like he's a total car guy. And I love cars, like I love nice cars. But for him, it's like next level. It's like that's what he watches on YouTube. He doesn't watch a lot of TV shows. He mostly watches car shows on YouTube.

Courtney Love Gavin  13:48  

My brother's like that a gearhead. Yeah,

Erika Lyremark  13:50  

Yeah, so it's all car shows. So it was I had this revolt and he comes home and he goes, are we moving? He's like, it looks like nobody lives here. I'm like, I know what I feel so happy. Be like, I've never been happier in my life. And so after a couple of days, he's like, Okay, this is ridiculous. What do you want? And I said, I want new furniture. I want a new style. It won't be as empty as it is right now. But I want your support with like, I want you to agree with us. So he's like, okay, fine, let's do it.

Erika Lyremark  14:23  

So, you know, over the last year, I've been basically redoing our entire place to like this. And I don't have the space that Kim and Kanye have. But like, now I want a bigger place. Not because we need more space, because we rarely own anything, but because I want more space for my furniture. So they're like, you know, one living room with like a couch on the coffee table. That's it, the dining room table. That's it. So with this mantra, if you fully utilize everything you have, you always feel like you have enough and I say I fully utilize everything. I always feel like I have enough. It's totally true. And so my life In Seattle, it's a walking city, you know, like New York or San Francisco, you're walking a lot, right? When I live in Minneapolis, it's not a walking city like you drive everywhere. And so I wore a lot of high heels before. And I also am older.

Erika Lyremark  15:14  

You know, I'm 49 years old and your body does change and you're not as excited about wearing high heels like you used to be in the past. And you know, my clothing style is just very athleisure like I'm often wearing slouchy sweatshirt, or oversized sweater or crop top with high waisted leggings or high waisted jeans and loafers or like Stan Smith's it's very minimal. And even when we go out, like on weekends and things where I really dressed up before again, walking city, so I don't have this desire to trudge around in downtown Seattle for 10 blocks wearing you know, stilettos and I, you know, it's like, my body's just different. So it just, it all came together of you know, my stepmom came along Wearing your clothes, what happened to your clothes? I'm like, I don't need those anymore. And you and I have talked about like, the only place I feel like I need clothes is if I'm doing a, you know, like a Facebook Live or for Instagram, right? Like I do get excited when I do get something new. So I'm like, I want to take Instagram photos. But that's the only time otherwise I'm so happy with my wardrobe. I love my clothes. I love my athleisure minimalist style. And you know, for my home right now I have a painting behind me. I think we just have like, there's two pictures of the bath.

Erika Lyremark  16:34  

So there's three paintings and I love it. It's so basic. It makes me so happy every day I wake up. Oh my god, it's so beautiful. I can't believe this is my home like this is my dream because it really matches my feelings inside. And for me it's such a personal journey is that I had to really think about am I feeling like I have enough because of this lifelong journey of feeling like I didn't have enough like when I was in high school. jr I would tell my mom I was sick, because I didn't feel like I had enough clothes to wear. I'm sorry, it was junior high. And then I started sewing really sewing in the 10th grade and started doing like my own clothes and things like, you know, I was really into vintage fashion then. And I grew up in a we were the core part of an affluent suburb. And so all of my friends were mega rich, and, you know, they always had tons of clothes. And I I did not and my parents were always were very frugal, and they would say you want those guest jeans that are $48 which Now today's prices, that's a bargain, right? You know, like Old Navy prices, they would say, you know, we'll spend the $15 for JC Penney, what you get them at JC Penney, and then you have to pay for the rest. So I was waxing floors and mowing lawns and doing whatever I could to get these clothes that I want it but it was definitely a struggle for me and I would once a month I would tell my mom I was sick once or twice a month. I told him I was sick. So I didn't have to go to school because I felt bad about my clothes.

Courtney Love Gavin  17:58  

I want to pivot to how the concept of simplicity and being enough and how you have translated that or use, you know, sort of like your philosophies on what that looks like when it comes to business.

Erika Lyremark  18:16  

Yeah. So I am a really creative person. So I know exactly. So I've been doing a version of what I'm doing now, I've been in the coaching space since 2005, and many variations of my business and when I was going to go full time in 2000, so I went full time in 2011. So I was working commercial real estate. I'm a partner in a commercial real estate investment company. And so I was a managing partner and now I'm just a partner I don't really consult and I was working with my friend, her name's Betty Jean Bell, and she was helping me launch my first group program which is called the morning whip. And at one point, she said to me, Eric, if you don't stop with your ideas, I'm quitting. I can't go down this path with you anymore. And that was the first time that I really got while my ideas are slowing down the progress of my business. So what I was doing in my home life, this constant path and minimalism and questioning everything I wasn't doing in my business.

Courtney Love Gavin  19:25  

Can you give me an example of that of the idea? Yeah, so I think a lot of people have a lot of ideas was it that you didn't just have them that you were starting to act on them or that they will distract from what you're already doing?

Erika Lyremark  19:41  

It was distracting from what we were already doing. So I would say oh my god, okay. So when we reach these numbers, let's do this. And then let's do this. And let's do this. And so it reminds me now of like when I work with people when I work with my clients, and they are starting at one point and they want to get to that next Huge point in three months when it is probably, you know, realistically, if you look at what's probabilities or whatever I mean, I believe in totally believe anything happen, but something that would take them like two years, you know, so let's say they're just starting, and they haven't established a name for themselves, like, nobody knows who they are. And like, it's gonna take you several years to make a name for yourself.

Erika Lyremark  20:21  

Like, it doesn't just happen overnight, unless you do something really, really awful. And you're on CNN, you know, for the next 24 hours. You don't want to be in that space. I mean, as a person, right, like you're talking about personalities in terms of establishing themselves, establishing your business, your credibility, the work that you do your products or services, etc. masterpieces take time. Right, exactly. So, I mean, that to me is impatience. And so I think what a lot of ideas can be as they can be just kind of thinking through this, but I think they're a form of impatience because they distract you from really focusing on and nailing what you do. so I was just talking about launching my first big program hadn't done it and I was already on to like the world tour on the tour bus that we were going to do.

Courtney Love Gavin  21:11  

Your opening act was booked.

Erika Lyremark  21:14  

Yes, I was gonna hire The Rocketts. They're going to call the whip that they're gonna have like black PVC outfits and then red PVC outfits and then white PVC outfits and like I had like the whole song dancing routine practically lined up.

Courtney Love Gavin  21:26  

You had the setlist? Yes, exactly. You knew what you're going to play after the Encore after party, you have your rider there in terms of what your green room needs to have all those kinds of ideas.

Erika Lyremark  21:38  

And she said to me, You need an idea box and I said, What's that she goes, just get a box that you like, and every time you have an idea, write it down on a piece of paper and then just toss it in there. So it's not forgotten. You're still honoring it, but you're just not acting on it right now. And so I really started to think about, yes, I have too many ideas. So I would say that I still danced In the world of I call it idea Ria, is still dancing. And I used to own the domain name. I bought it in 2009. And I owned it for like, in a one one. I have a 200. Donate, it was out of control.

Courtney Love Gavin  22:10  

I tell you, I did PR for a domain name extension know what does that mean? Don't go Oh, that's what the Yankees codes actually for the country of Colombia. Ah, they own it. But I my client who was from Colombia. Oh, interesting. Colombia owns co Well, it goes back. This is gonna get really geeky right now, we might cut it, but it goes back to like the actual country code. So for some of them, you know how some of them have This was at least 10 years ago that I worked with them. And yeah, and anyway, it's like I can internet. It's a whole world. But yes, I got my other clients that work there. The way that they sort of found each other is that they got really big into buying domain names. and selling them. It's a whole thing.

Erika Lyremark  23:02  

Yeah. Well, it's crazy. One of my stripper friends back in when domain names first came out, she approached me and she said, I think I'm gonna start buying domain names. And she never did gluer It's a deja vu. She's like, Oh, I want to try to buy deja vu calm. So anyways, I would say that this journey continued on. I mean, it definitely got less and less, especially as I got to implement a lot of my ideas. There's incredible satisfaction with that. And again, I think the more simple something is, I don't know I just I love simple like, I just love things to be simple and easy. Because I maybe part of it is because there's so much like creative psychic work that I do that I can't handle other complications.

Courtney Love Gavin  23:44  

Yeah, I get that. Speaking of creative psychic work, a question that I have been dying to ask you. So for anyone who's listening, the secret to a great interview or really a great anything that you see out there, it's all about Pre work. I mean, think about it, like running marathons, like the way that you win races is all about your regime that you do ahead of time. Yeah, it's a little bit how you show up that day, but 90% of it is ahead of time. So, Erika and I chatted before we actually came on to do this. And I told her that I really want to know the answer to this, but I want everyone that's listening to experience it for the first time like I am. So I am a shark tank fanatic. And my girl Barbara Corcoran, she's my favorite shark. I'll say that point blank. At one point I wanted to call myself the queen of PR because she called herself the queen of New York real estate. And for those of you that haven't read Erika's book yet, her first one, think like a stripper. Why not go out read it now. And if you look at it, one of the many, many accolades that she has on it is that Miss Barbara Corcoran, it's endorsed by which is a big deal for anyone that's done a book you know those quotes that are on the agenda. It are in there. And so EriKa, how did you get Barbara to give you that endorsement and to do you guys still keep in touch?

Erika Lyremark  25:09  

So I've actually never met Barbara, not yet. Well at that time I spoke to her assistant Gail, and that Barbara energetically or psychically, or however you want to say it. I was at the library at the salto library in Dinah, Minnesota. I was living in Minneapolis, living with my mom working with my dad, my life was really boring. And I don't have any friends yet. I hadn't reestablish myself living on Amazon for 11 years. I was at the library and looking through like the business books section, and I remember seeing this yellow book and I pulled it off the shelf, and it was called use what you've got and other lessons My mother told me or other lessons I learned from my mother. That's what it is.

Erika Lyremark  25:51  

And I read the back jacket and it said Barbara Corcoran got straight D's in high school and went on to create a successful commercial resit, a real estate company in New York and sold it for $70 million. Up, why don't get straight DS, but I love her humor. And I work in real estate. So I'm going to get this book. So I got it out. We checked it out and I read it in two days. And I saw something come across. I must have been on Twitter where to said, Hey, I'm doing this telesummit with the school, and I'm giving away an hour long console. We've come to the live event. So I was like, Oh my god, I have to go. And I had about let's see, I asked a bunch of my like most inner circle. Hey, I want to win this console with Barbara, will you get on Twitter today? And will you tell them that I need to win. And so my count was just around like 100 over 100 but around that mark of tweets that went out to the school, too that was promoting this free console to give me the console. So I didn't get the console someone else got it, of course was very grumpy about that. But I was like Okay, there's another way and then I found out the next week with the same event so they were doing a virtual promotion they're going you know, in person, the tickets were $700 for the event and I thought okay, who do I know who lives in New York that all buy the ticket and they go to the back so I already had this letter written to Barbara like on my website, it was like I think it's still there daily comm slash Barbara so as it Oh, I know amber amber McHugh. She lives in Maryland, maybe I'll pay for her hotel, whatever she needs, like, she just has to go to this event and she has to deliver this letter. So I called up Amber. I was like, Hey, will you do this? And she's like, I'm actually going to New York that day. She's like, I'm going with my dad, and he's got like, appointments so I can totally go to the event. And she was so smart. She put the letter the printed up letter, like telling Barbara like, this is why I would like you to blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And now that I'm thinking about like, I don't know, if it's still on my site. I hope that I have it somewhere. I hope that I do. A declutter frenzy might have gotten rid of it.

Erika Lyremark  27:59  

So it Number

Erika Lyremark  28:00  

went to the event and she was smart. She was so clever. She put the letter in this turquoise envelope. So what would really stick out? And then she texted me she's like Erica, there's so many people around Barbara, I don't know if I can get in talk to her. And I said, you cannot fail. Like, you have to figure out a way like you can't fail and like I please, please, please don't fail. So ever gave the letter to Barbara. And she's like, Okay, thank you. Then I knew that her assistants email address, and I emailed her two weeks later, a week later, and I said, Hey, following up, and then Gail said to me, Barbara is not taking any investments. She's not open to your pitches, and I said, Oh, this is about a book. Barbara was a huge blessing in my life linked to, you know, or maybe attach to PDF. A couple of days later, she said, you know, send over the manuscript, and then like, a couple weeks later, I got my doors. Perfect. And so that was that.

Courtney Love Gavin  28:48  

That's how it happened. I think that's really important for everyone to see that. It's really about like opening up your mind to see like all the possibilities that are there and also that because there was that Real you know, passion that you had for Barbara and the effect that she made on your life that made that made a big difference. Hey, are you picking up what I'm dropping down? If you love this pretty pretty bad guys, share it with a friend. Put it in your IG stories and tag me. Courtney Love Gavin and if you want to go big, make your mark by leaving a review your voice helps more people find out about this gem so they can shine bright to talk to you next week.