Pretty Pretty Podcast

Coaching or therapy or both?

Episode Summary

Wondering how a life coach is different from a therapist? I gotchu. If you’re not exactly sure whether you need a therapist, a life coach, or both, this episode is for you. Listen to learn why you absolutely must invest in your mental health.

Episode Notes

Wondering how a life coach is different from a therapist? I gotchu. If you’re not exactly sure whether you need a therapist, a life coach, or both, this episode is for you. Listen to learn why you absolutely must invest in your mental health.

Coaching is not just for professional athletes and superstars like Oprah. Coaching is the future and for everybody.

In this episode, we dive in to what life coaching is all about and how coaching is the fastest way to change your life.



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Episode Transcription

The Power of Coaching

Courtney Love:This is episode 14 of Pretty Pretty Podcast. Welcome to the prettiest podcast on the planet. I am your host, Courtney Love Gavin. today, we are talking about the elephant in the room. W T F is coaching?

[00:00:16] as a life coach, I get asked two questions on the daily, by my friends, by my family, by strangers on the Internet. Number one, what exactly is life coaching. And number two, how is it different from therapy? And that is what we are going to be covering today, pretties. Are you ready to jump in? I thought so.

[00:00:36] First things first, the main differentiator between therapy and, coaching is coaching is future focused. I spent a solid 15 years of my childhood and adolescents in therapy. And as an adult, I have tapped into it when needed. I've tried a multitude of approaches.

[00:00:56] Courtney Love: Therapy is something that can definitely be used in tandem with coaching and for those of you that have never done therapy before. Therapy is built off of the premise that we can explain our present by looking at our past. Talk therapy, which is when you go and you see a therapist or a counselor of some sort you talk to them. And because you are talking to them and untangling the past and why you are where you are, it takes time to explore. Sometimes years. And therapy is diagnostic. Meaning that when you see a therapist, they diagnose you and they treat you. But what stuck with me the most is that therapy typically takes people from non-functioning to functioning.

[00:01:46] Whereas, coaching takes people from functioning to extraordinary. Moving to LA is where I was introduced to coaching. It was normal here. It is normal here.

[00:01:59] Everyone has a coach. My boss, the people I was working with. In fact, when I worked at Awesomeness, when people, what have personnel issues or behavior or anything that would go into the category of like human resources.

[00:02:15] They would pay for coaching for that person to help them improve. So everyone has a coach. And the people that I was working with, like Oprah, Leonardo DiCaprio, Eric Schmidt, who was the former CEO of Google, Dwayne Johnson, AKA DJ The Rock just, a sprinkling of the people that I was working with, all of them have coaches. Like coaches are what successful people have.

[00:02:45] And if you want to step up your game, coaching is where it's at. And I know that you might be thinking, Oh, you're just saying that CLG because you're a coach. So I have a really great analogy for you.

[00:02:55] I like to think of a therapist or therapy, like a physical therapist, PT. And a life coach is more like a personal trainer.

[00:03:07] If you are injured or if you have experienced some major trauma, the first thing you want to do is focus on restoring yourself. And that is where therapy is crucial and very, very beneficial and how it has personally helped me. But if you are looking to up-level your life, or if you have like fitness goals, for example, you would work with a personal trainer or a life coach.

[00:03:34] This example is super clutch because not that long ago, physical fitness was not part of our culture it was considered crazy to be working out in public. It was weird. Gyms. You did it on your own. Maybe you went to a dance class, but if you told people that you were going to train your body, they thought you were a weirdo.

[00:03:53] Like it just, it wasn't something that was done. But nowadays fitness is a huge part of our culture. it's frowned upon if you're not doing anything to move your body in some way. The same thing is happening in the world right now with our minds. I predict that 20 years from now, maybe even 10 years from now, everyone will have a life coach.

[00:04:11] it’s actually being implemented right now in a lot of schools all over the world. We're living longer than ever and depression is the leading cause of disability worldwide, and a major contributor to the overall global burden of disease. One in five American adults has an anxiety disorder.

[00:04:30] We are seeing in the world right now what happens when we don't manage our minds. When we let toddlers be in charge. More specifically our toddler brain.

[00:04:39] I work with a lot of people who went to therapy first and it worked exceedingly well for them until a point. But at a certain point it stopped being useful and like me, they were ready to let go of their past and move into their future.

[00:04:55] Now, the last difference that I want to call out is therapy is regulated and coaching is not. I know a lot of therapists that have actually become life coaches because being a life coach enables them to help more clients, which is what they wanted to do to begin with.

[00:05:13] This is a really important distinction because coaching is self-regulated. And so it is really on the individual coach to uphold the standards that they want in their business. It's why I recommend that all of you pretties are very discerning clients and how you find your coach. See if they offer a free consult call or even better, if they have a podcast where you can listen to them and get to know more about who they are and their overall approach.

[00:05:43] The fact that coaching is a self-regulated industry drives me to always be learning. It motivates me to be the highest quality coach on the market and provide the best value to my clients. I always want to over deliver and for my clients to feel like they won the fucking lottery when they work with me.

[00:06:02] Now, what is it that sets coaching apart? What is a life coach? When I think about a life coach, I just substitute the word life for like your brain or mindset. I used to shy away from saying life coach, I just said that I was a coach. Because of all of the stigmas around it. But now I say life coach powerfully because no matter what I coach my clients on whether it's their career or their relationships, their visibility, their anxiety, their business, it all goes back to mindset. Because the mindset is what powers the actions.

[00:06:38] My only goal as your coach is to help you succeed in your life and become happier. To really listen and hold you accountable to reaching your goals. To be your biggest cheerleader when you have wins and to have your back during tough times. To teach you how to believe in yourself. And to help you create the life of your dreams.

[00:07:01] I focus on your brain and how your mind operates because that's what creates long-term results. This is why for me being a public relations expert and spending ,17 years in the PR industry, becoming a life coach is a natural evolution because I'm already an expert in human behavior and human relationships.

[00:07:19] And the human mind. Now I just know the specific names and processes, and I have an even higher quality tool set to help people with.

[00:07:30] An unmanaged mind or a brain before learning the tools of life coaching is like a drunk friend or a toddler. Have you ever noticed, how toddlers, when they walk, they also sort of look like drunk people? And act like drunk people?

[00:07:43] I think there's a YouTube video about that. they'll cry, they're, they're spilling their food. this is how I want you to picture your mind running around and just causing utter disarray. Walking into things, falling over. No clear direction. Very easily distracted. That is your brain before coaching, but the good news is, is that it is completely manageable. You just need to sober up. Put down the Tito's and soda. Or whatever your adult bevy of choice is.

[00:08:11] As your coach, I teach you how to manage your brain to take control, but not the kind of way that like gives you a to do list or like I'm in charge of you or anything like that. a lot of the time people come to me and they want to ask me how, like, how do I pivot in my career? How do I stop procrastinating? But the problem isn't that you don't know how, the people that pursue coaching are smart it's because our brains are programmed to not do the work. And that's why we sit in confusion. Because we just want someone to tell us how. We minimize the energy that we expend, like our brains straight up on their own without a coach will always want to choose cookies, couch time and Kardashians. Or Netflix, whatever your streaming substance of choice is.

[00:09:03] This is why I coach people on their brain. Because it's how you change everything. Let's take it back to the gym analogy. when you have a goal, let's say you want to fit back in your pre-baby jeans, or you want to be able to do 20 pushups, or you want to be at like a, a certain fitness level before you turn 50, whatever it is.

[00:09:24] when you have a certain fitness goal You sign up for the gym or you buy a beach body program. you do it a couple of times, maybe even do it for a whole month, but eventually you stop. And then maybe you start again, but this stop start cycle is going to continue unless you change the way you think about the gym and your workouts, because if you hate the gym, and you hate working out.

[00:09:53] You will not get the results or if you do, it's exhausting. And you are going to drain your energy. And you're always going to have to rely on willpower. Like you can't hate your way thin. And if you do, you will never stay there. The key is that you change your perspective on the gym. You find an approach that works for you and your life.

[00:10:17] maybe it's jumping on the trampoline. Maybe it's going for long walks while you FaceTime with your family, you find the reasons and then you start loving the gym and working out. And fitness. And you begin to enjoy that sacred time where you are on your own and you can tune out the world and then you are loving how much stronger you're getting and how you are amazing yourself, what it is that you can do. And that's when you get those results and you sustain them forever. And that's where you get rid of the struggle and the strife. And this is why I focus on changing your thoughts.

[00:10:59] One way that I like to look at life coaching is: life coaching helps you change things. You didn't even know needed changing. I teach you how you can literally handpick your thoughts to get what you want. I lovingly show you your blind spots. I help you separate story from fact, because most of the time we believe that the circumstances in our lives are completely out of our hands and that we have no choice in the matter.

[00:11:25] And what I love most about coaching is how empowering it is. When I was in therapy. I got to the root cause of, why I was the way that I was in my life. I was always left with this feeling of okay, but like, how can I move forward and quickly, because like, I don't want to be here anymore.

[00:11:44] with coaching, you are in charge of your results. You get your power back, you get to decide. you are no longer fighting yourself. And you are no longer waiting. You are getting out of the confusion and the overwhelm, because sometimes you can be so deep in your story that you really can't see what's happening on the outside.

[00:12:06] Having a coach is like having someone standing on the outside, looking around, seeing things from all perspectives from the big picture. A coach is on the outside of your story because growth is hard. It puts our brains into fight or flight, and most people can't sustain the pain fight or flight long enough to cross over finish line into that new habit or into a new way of thinking. Especially when all signs point to failure up until the moment that you succeed. When your brain is convincing you to quit and to stop and to go and do Netflix, couch, cookies, a coach will be by your side showing you what your brain is up to. They will show you how to feel those emotions powerfully, how to not give into them, how to grow resilience through them and how to take power over your thoughts.

[00:12:59] There is no asset, more valuable than a coach when it comes to going after what you want. What my clients say that they love most about working with me is my unique ability to stay in probability and also give them the world of imagination and that together we can hold this space for the vision of what they have for their life.

[00:13:23] And that I help them see the possibility, even when it feels so foggy and cloudy to them. And being able to really hold that space for them every week. by doing that the seemingly impossible becomes their new normal over time.

[00:13:40] This is why I don't offer a-la-carte coaching sessions. truth booth: anyone that is offered during that be weary. Alert, snake oil, salesmen, coach. I think anyone who is offering one off coaching sessions, they're probably just looking to take your money because if you want to change your thoughts, you have to reprogram your mind. if you want to learn Mandarin and speak the language, that doesn't mean that you just memorize one phrase off of a fortune cookie.

[00:14:06] Our brain is the most powerful tool on the planet. And it is so smart that we don't even use all of it. we have this crazy tool that is acting like a toddler and semi like drunk half the time we needed to show it who's boss.

[00:14:20] I have been exactly where you are right now, thinking to myself, what the fuck is life coaching? I don't have time for this shit. It's so much easier to just plan another trip to buy another expensive purse, to join another mastermind.

[00:14:35] Or if you are feeling like your life is a dumpster fire and that you have so much to work on and that you need to like, get it more together before you hire me as your coach.

[00:14:48] listen to this: my life was a fucking mess when I hired my first coach. And that's totally okay. you can have six areas of your life you want to improve all at the same time. Because the most amazing thing about the brain is that even if we only coach on one of those areas for even maybe three or four weeks straight, subtly you’re going to be changing all of them. And over the time of coaching, all of these little insignificant things that you don't even feel are like, the big thing, like the fight with your boyfriend, the annoying boss, the fact that you ate five candy bars and you felt bad about it. all of that little shit compounds into big results.

[00:15:32] So at the end of our six months or 12 months together, you’re going to see all of your life differently. Then everything, all your results start compounding all at once and speed up. the beautiful thing is that it doesn't matter what we coach on. We're still changing your thought process and every week we're working on all of these things at the exact same time.

[00:15:56] if things feel overwhelming for you right now, I promise it's actually much simpler than you, you think to change all of this. I'm going to teach you how, and we just apply these tools all the time in your life to every situation.

[00:16:09] And at the end of the day, the little things will start to shift and then those things will turn into big things. We can just change all of this. I have the answers. Literally. There is nothing that will scare me. that is the power of having a coach. Someone that you can come to who you just feel like they got you and they can help you with every single thing.

[00:16:31] you can just let go of the worry about like getting these results. And just let me take that on. I've got you. There is nothing that you can come to me with. There is no problem that I can't solve.

[00:16:44] Oh, man. That sounds great. Like I want to hire me as my coach. you get to decide what kind of life you want to lead.

[00:16:51] You can decide if you want to live a life where you're not just existing. To live a life where you feel so incredibly alive and look forward to every day. if you don't have a coach, you should totally hire a coach. If you want to work with me, that would be super fun. But if you don't. Totally fine too.

[00:17:08] I feel like every human would make so much more progress in their lives if they were willing to invest the time and money in coaching.

[00:17:16] if you want to get coaching, one-on-one please make sure to reach out to me. I would absolutely love to work with you.

[00:17:23] Okay. Pretty's I hope this episode cleared up any confusion about coaching. Have a phenomenal week, and I will talk to you later, alligator.

[00:17:25] Hey Pretties. If you’re picking up what I’m throwing down and would like to deepen this work with me as your coach. Go to for the 411 on my one-on-one coaching program that will not only make you a more powerful professional but take your life to the next level. I can’t wait to connect!