Pretty Pretty Podcast

Impeccable Boundaries

Episode Summary

How to set boundaries so that you truly feel peace, success, delight and satisfaction. Dropping your armor of excellence while still feeling safe being your true self out in the world. Plus a SIMPLE and NEW way of approaching boundaries that you can start practicing today. Ready to change your life? I can absolutely help you. Book your Awaken Session here: awakensession.com

Episode Notes

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How to set boundaries so that you truly feel peace, success, delight and satisfaction. Dropping your armor of excellence while still feeling safe being your true self out in the world. Plus A SIMPLE and NEW way of approaching boundaries that you can start practicing today.

 Ready to dissolve old patterns and actively become the most empowered version of yourself? I’ll show you how😊 inside my 1:1 private coaching experience. This is the most luxurious coaching that exists, 100% customized to you and dedicated to your growth. You have me supporting & guiding you every step of the way, so it's guaranteed you will create the exact results that you want. 

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Episode Transcription

[00:00:00] This is pretty pretty podcast. the prettiest podcast on the planet. where each week I share powerful insights to help you untangle the mysteries and magic of your subconscious mind. So you can reconnect with your highest desires, tap into your intuition and activate the art of being yourself. I am your coach. Courtney. Love Gavin. 

[00:00:23] This is pretty pretty podcast. Episode number 70. Welcome to the prettiest podcast on the planet. pretties to say thank you and to show how much I appreciate all of you. I am releasing twice as many episodes for the month of November, that is twice a week with some bonus episodes popping up.

[00:00:48] And I want to make sure that you are getting all of them, which means you want to be a subscriber to pretty pretty podcasts. If you are not already, when you subscribe, podcasts are automatically downloaded. So you don't miss any of these cool things happening for you. So however you consume pretty pretty podcast hit subscribe. And the other thing is coaching pretties. I know that there are a couple of you listening right now who have been thinking about it.

[00:01:20] You've been watching me. You've been considering coaching with me, but for some reason you have not yet booked in awakened session with me, whatever that reason is. I just want you to get over yourself now because you deserve this work. And after you listen to today's episode, I know that you're going to be like, I want to remove my armor of excellence.

[00:01:46] Higher CLG as my bouncer, and I want to live my life on purpose and no longer in this stressy survival mode. So get yourself on my schedule. Pretties. I want you to be on there. I really want you to be able to get rolling into the holidays and into 2020 to level the fuck up and feeling like you got this.

[00:02:10] Let's put 20 22 on notice. You are coming for them. You are next step is to schedule your free awaken session with me. And you can do that@awakensession.com and I will also put a link in the show notes for you.

[00:02:27] Today pretties, we are talking about removing the armor of excellence and hiring your bounces. This is part one of boundaries. The next episode that will be released is all about boundaries, but before we can have boundaries, we need to remove the armor of excellence. 

[00:02:49] All overachievers, perfectionists, highly successful people, somewhere along the way.

[00:02:56] We were taught that we needed to prove ourselves and that we needed to prove our worthiness. And we needed to be externally validated by being as perfect, as possible, as pleasing as possible. And most of the time at the expense of ourselves, 

[00:03:13] Really being who you are and deciding to no longer seek other people's approval, it feels like you're naked sometimes. That is not the way that the 99% of the world operates

[00:03:27] we are taught relentlessly from a very young age that we need to look different, act different and be different in order to be worthy. What happens over time in order for us to show up and take up space. Feel like we have to be very exact in the way that we do that. because that has, kept us safe Intel now. I say the right things.

[00:03:51] I do the right things. I make sure that I research everything. I look a certain way. We have all of these things in place. it's very, very rigid. It is like this armor that we end up wearing, trying to be excellent. and a way to get through the world is that we start to develop this armor of excellence Over time it actually ends up being very cumbersome because it is a full suit. If you think of a night, it is a full suit of armor that we're wearing out in the world. And we're trying to move around and move quickly.

[00:04:23] But, you know, Sweaty and it gets heavy. You get so tired, so much faster because you can't really do a lot of things wearing a full suit of armor. On one hand, yes, this armor is a protective mechanism, but on the other hand, it's cumbersome. It means that you can't radiate out who you are in the world, and it is heartbreaking.

[00:04:47] Living under the constant pressure to perform and prove yourself is crippling. It blocks you from embodying who the fuck you really are. Which is why I'm giving you this episode about how you pretties can drop your armor of excellence and still feel safe incompetent, when you are out in the world.

[00:05:06] This is not the way that your brain is used to thinking, because you have probably spent decades, maybe even in your entire life, up until this point, thinking and learning that you have to wear this armor of excellence and that you have to look a certain way and act a certain way in order to get outside approval.

[00:05:26] Your life needs to be a certain way. when you are unlearning all of these things, And learning how to believe in yourself. When you have spent a lifetime feeling, not good enough, you're hustling for your worth. And then you decide that you are going to put down the armor of excellence. And you're going to love who you are and you are going to set boundaries and you're going to respect yourself.

[00:05:48] It's going to feel vulnerable because under all that armor and all of that protective layer is you the, you that is afraid to be fully seen. That is scared to be fully present.

[00:06:01] You're going to need some protection, but instead of reaching for your Knight suit right now, and with the armor of excellence, I'm giving you a different layer of protection. That is way, way better.

[00:06:14] So I want you to imagine that you are in a room and in this room is your truest, realest, most authentic self, and you have taken off the armor. You are unlearning everything that society has taught you. You are learning that you no longer need to be in the vicious cycle of external validation and you no longer need to be addicted to approval and you no longer need to care about other people's opinions about you.

[00:06:40] And you are starting to believe that you are in. Hey, this actually feels really good to approve of myself and to not really care about what other people are thinking. In this hypothetical room, there's a door and at the door, there is a bouncer. This bouncer is responsible for protecting you.

[00:07:00] It's your body guard. Its job to decide who gets to be in this sacred space that you are in. And more importantly, what kind of riffraff doesn't get in. What is not allowed. And this, my friend is what boundary actually our. Boundaries, which we're covering next week is what you decide you are going to entertain and have in your life.

[00:07:25] This bouncer that you have at the door, it isn't trying to get the people outside to change and get them to do different things. At a club, if someone rolls up wearing cutoff denim shorts, and, a ripped up top. The bouncers, just like, Hey, no shoes, no shirt, bro.

[00:07:42] No tie. You can't get in. The bouncers. Not like you need to put this on. The bouncers, just doing their job. When I think about the bouncer, I went to college, undergrad in San Diego and there, because it's close to the border. They're really, really strict. I never tried to go to a club or a bar, with a fake ID. I just went to TJ Tijuana. There were always these really big bouncers with the headset. They were very stoic. They were all wearing black and sometimes they would even wear glasses and they had short hair and they were just the bouncer. You did not fuck with them.

[00:08:17] That is who I picture when I picture the bouncer. So I want you to visualize a person real or a character. It doesn't matter who it is, but someone who will fiercely stand and protect you in that doorway.

[00:08:30] Who will have no problems saying, Nope, you need to leave or no, you may not come in here.

[00:08:36] I want you to imagine this bouncer stepping in between you and whatever it might be that will take you away from your inherent worthiness. That will distract you from your unlearning and who you are becoming.

[00:08:50] Most of the time, what the bouncer is not letting through the door, doesn't have anything to do with other people. It's all of your own thoughts.

[00:08:59] That is what the bouncer is there to either allow in or not allow in. Like I'm not enough. I'm too much. I'm broken. here are all the things that are wrong with me.

[00:09:08] No, your bouncer, doesn't let those in there.

[00:09:13] A bouncer might spend some time telling people at the door no, and turning them away. But the majority of the time, this bouncer is stopping your thoughts at the door. In order to do that, it needs to have some criteria.

[00:09:27] You need to give your brain and your bouncer some criteria about what am I entertaining and what am I not entertaining when it comes to your own thoughts and your own actions. Does this thought serve me and who it is that I'm being coming? Nope. Then that doesn't get in here. 

[00:09:45] Would I ever say this to another human being? Nope. Then you need to leave. You may not come in this room. This is a sacred space. Your bouncer is protecting you while you are unlearning and learning and becoming.

[00:10:00] Your bouncer is the one that is at the door that is like, does this thought help move you forward?

[00:10:05] Or does it shut you down? Does this lead to shame? Does it lead to fear? Does it lead to anger? Everything has to go through the bouncer to get to you. Everything has to go through the bouncer thoughts, ideas. Other people, other people's thoughts, food, music, TV shows the news, the comment section.

[00:10:27] When you think about your bouncer, your bouncer needs specific a F directions. Your bouncer needs to know that if you're going deep and you're scrolling, scrolling, scrolling, and it's not making you feel any better.

[00:10:41] And the scrolling is shutting you down. It's not moving forward. That's the new. And the bouncer is the you that steps in between, what's not serving you and who you want to become. And sometimes, you know what, the bouncer will be on break. And all of a sudden you'll be like where I was, where I was walking to whole foods at 9:30 PM to go dessert shopping.

[00:11:01] And then your bouncer will come back in and just be like, Hmm, no, please remove CLG. Come back home. Like we don't need that right now. This is not serving you and your future self.

[00:11:10] What belongs, you get to decide.

[00:11:13] What does belong is beauty, music, thoughts that serve you, uplifting beliefs, aspirations, inspirations, your future self, your self concept. Everything that you want to be creating more of and nothing of what you don't want.

[00:11:30] Who is your bouncer? Pretties? I want you to get specific. I like to imagine a person who's standing in the doorway. And this person is protecting fiercely my future self. My healing, my learning, and all of that.goodness. And I want you to get specific about who it is.

[00:11:48] Is it the rock? AKA DJ, is your bouncer Hagrid, is it wonder woman? Is it the black Panther? 

[00:11:54] For a lot of my clients, I'm their bouncer and I am the one standing at the door. I am believing in them and I am fiercely protecting their learning and their growth. I'm calling out their bullshit thoughts and I'm picking them up.

[00:12:07] I'm taking those bullshit thoughts and I'm like, security, you got to go. I'm sending them out the door when they show up. And when they already have the thoughts in their brain, I am gently removing them and letting them know oh, come on, let's look at the crowd here. 

[00:12:21] So I want you to think about who is your bouncer and what are the specific instructions that you are going to give your bouncer?

[00:12:28] AKA, what are your boundaries with yourself? What will you allow ? What will you tolerate? What will you do? What will you not do? 

[00:12:37] You are dropping your armor of excellence and you are unlearning old beliefs. So you want to fiercely protect yourself so that you can fully become you without all of the layers of armor.

[00:12:51] So people can get to know the real you and see you. See your radiance and vibrancy in the world. And in order to do that, you need to fully protect yourself, not with an armor of excellence, but with a bouncer and boundaries so that you can fully become you without the need for approval, without the fear of what other people think.

[00:13:15] This right here, pretty is. This is freedom. This is how you truly feel peace and contentment and fulfillment and satisfaction. When you take your power back, when you turn your lights back on, this is how you get your sparkle back. This is how you become the gorgeous, imperfect, majestic human that you are here to be.

[00:13:39] All that you need in order to do this, as you just need some protection, while you unlearn these old beliefs that make you think that it is not okay for you to be yourself, that is making you feel that you need to perfect. That is having you feel that you need to seek other people's approval that you need to look at outside opinions

[00:13:57] So higher your boundaries. And listen, I would love to be your bouncer. I bring that apex predator energy. We are in the final stretch of 2021. So I want you to think about what's possible for you now. Like you can make all of your 20, 22 new year's resolutions happen now.

[00:14:16] Okay. What my clients and I do together in six months is what you would be doing on your own in 10 years. And I don't make that claim lightly. So by new year's Eve, you could have one year's worth of transformation for yourself. Is that where you want it? If it is, I would love to help. The first step is simple.

[00:14:40] It is a free awakened session where it is you and me and a convo about where you are, where you want to be and how you can get there as quickly as calmly and as delightfully as possible. . To book your awakened session with me, which is the first step to exploring one-on-one coaching together.

[00:14:58] Go to awaken session.com or click on the link in the show notes, and it'll take you there so you can set it up and make it happen. And remember pretties, you are worthy right now. You are enough. You are not a project. There is nothing you need to fix about yourself.

[00:15:15] . And what you do now is you start unlearning all of those beliefs that got you here, and you put down that armor of excellence and you start learning what it is that you are here to create. You got this, and I got you. And I look forward to talking with you on the awaken session. Have an amazing week.

[00:15:33] I will talk to you later, alligator by.

[00:15:35] If you enjoyed this pretty, pretty podcast and want to take this work even deeper with me as your guide opportunities to work with me one on one in my private coaching experience, our now available go to Courtney love gavin.com to schedule your own personal awaken session. And the 30 minutes we'll see if working together is a fabulous fit.

[00:16:04] That's Courtney love gavin.com/contact. I'll talk to you soon